Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
