Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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