rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
