Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
