They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
