I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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