I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
