you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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