so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
