I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
