Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
