What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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