Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bang-toberfest begins!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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