Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize