somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize