i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
