What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
