how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
