Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
