im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
