I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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