Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was born a porn star she said
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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