Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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