Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
