i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
