Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
