Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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