in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
