your thong is hanging out like whoa
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
