they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
