And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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