she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
