My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
