You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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