Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
