Nicole vs. Life
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He felt like a one man threesome
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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