i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
two words: eviction party
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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