My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize