Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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