Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
