Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
