Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We were destined to go to rehab together
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
