I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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