i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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