Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
