There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
