i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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