The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
