I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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