You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
