Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
