Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
