Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
