Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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