Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
