and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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