I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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