she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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