dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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