No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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