Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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