Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
