i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
