WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize