oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
