I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
