I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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