i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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