Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
