Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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