how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i think i just lost a toe
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
