I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
