Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
