remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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