were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
