don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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