The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The adults are the big ones right?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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