are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
