I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
